Schizmatic
"Past Model"
Grownup: “When I was a kid, we only had ONE gigabyte of Gmail storage! ONE! We had to compress our attachments, use plain text instead of HTML, and even actually occasionally DELETE things!! OMG, it was a NIGHTMARRRRRRRRE!!!”
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Page: http://schizmatic.com/comics/682
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"Past Model"

Grownup: “When I was a kid, we only had ONE gigabyte of Gmail storage! ONE! We had to compress our attachments, use plain text instead of HTML, and even actually occasionally DELETE things!! OMG, it was a NIGHTMARRRRRRRRE!!!”

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Image: http://schizmatic.com/files/past_model.jpg

Page: http://schizmatic.com/comics/682

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"The iBar"
There’s a South Park episode where Reality TV has gotten so bad and society’s standards fallen so much that the director of the movie Titanic, James Cameron, goes on a deep-sea quest to find “The Bar” and raise it.
That’s silly. Clearly, the true solution is to turn society’s high-jump competition into a limbo contest.
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Image: http://schizmatic.com/files/the_ibar.jpg
Page: http://schizmatic.com/comics/681
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"The iBar"

There’s a South Park episode where Reality TV has gotten so bad and society’s standards fallen so much that the director of the movie Titanic, James Cameron, goes on a deep-sea quest to find “The Bar” and raise it.

That’s silly. Clearly, the true solution is to turn society’s high-jump competition into a limbo contest.

______________________________________________________________

Image: http://schizmatic.com/files/the_ibar.jpg

Page: http://schizmatic.com/comics/681

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"The Phone Vs. The Phaser"
Fortunately, the future iPhone will have a “Disinterest/Disintegrate” setting for eliminating even the slightest source of boredom from all existence.
The universe and everyone in it will cease to exist exactly 12.7 seconds after its release.
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Image: http://schizmatic.com/files/the_phone_vs._the_phaser.jpg
Page: http://schizmatic.com/comics/680
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"The Phone Vs. The Phaser"

Fortunately, the future iPhone will have a “Disinterest/Disintegrate” setting for eliminating even the slightest source of boredom from all existence.

The universe and everyone in it will cease to exist exactly 12.7 seconds after its release.

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Image: http://schizmatic.com/files/the_phone_vs._the_phaser.jpg

Page: http://schizmatic.com/comics/680

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"Privacy Piracy #9"
I don’t think we should ever be friends with our parents. It’s unhealthy when we’re kids, and creepy when we’re adults.
Sure, we can be friend-LY with them, but anything more than that, and we might as well just start giving each other our real email addresses. Madness.
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Image: http://schizmatic.com/files/privacy_piracy_9.jpg
Page: http://schizmatic.com/comics/679
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"Privacy Piracy #9"

I don’t think we should ever be friends with our parents. It’s unhealthy when we’re kids, and creepy when we’re adults.

Sure, we can be friend-LY with them, but anything more than that, and we might as well just start giving each other our real email addresses. Madness.

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Image: http://schizmatic.com/files/privacy_piracy_9.jpg

Page: http://schizmatic.com/comics/679

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"Hypespace"
Apple will also totally revolutionize the energy industry when it utilizes hype as the ultimate inexhaustible, sustainable fuel source. It can make the world go ‘round — though some might say it’s a downward spiral.
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Image: http://schizmatic.com/files/hypespace.jpg
Page: http://schizmatic.com/comics/678
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"Hypespace"

Apple will also totally revolutionize the energy industry when it utilizes hype as the ultimate inexhaustible, sustainable fuel source. It can make the world go ‘round — though some might say it’s a downward spiral.

______________________________________________________________

Image: http://schizmatic.com/files/hypespace.jpg

Page: http://schizmatic.com/comics/678

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"Motivational Screamer"
The gym teacher is a former athlete and can bench-press 350 pounds — most of it being the giant chip on his shoulder.
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Page: http://schizmatic.com/comics/677
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"Motivational Screamer"

The gym teacher is a former athlete and can bench-press 350 pounds — most of it being the giant chip on his shoulder.

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Image: http://schizmatic.com/files/motivational_screamer.jpg

Page: http://schizmatic.com/comics/677

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"Fanalytics"
I predict that fanboys/girls will branch off from the human race and become their own species by mid-century. Doctor Who fans will become “Whovian sapiens,” and Superman fans, “Superhomo sapiens.”
It might sound complicated, but it’ll all be properly documented in the history comic books.
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Image: http://schizmatic.com/files/fanalytics.jpg
Page: http://schizmatic.com/comics/676
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"Fanalytics"

I predict that fanboys/girls will branch off from the human race and become their own species by mid-century. Doctor Who fans will become “Whovian sapiens,” and Superman fans, “Superhomo sapiens.”

It might sound complicated, but it’ll all be properly documented in the history comic books.

______________________________________________________________

Image: http://schizmatic.com/files/fanalytics.jpg

Page: http://schizmatic.com/comics/676

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"Speed Teaching"
Some say that rote learning and the mindless regurgitation of meaningless information is a poor way to educate. But if that isn’t practical preparation for the mind-numbing, soul-smothering grind of real-world employment, I don’t know what is.
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Image: http://schizmatic.com/files/speed_teaching.jpg
Page: http://schizmatic.com/comics/675
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"Speed Teaching"

Some say that rote learning and the mindless regurgitation of meaningless information is a poor way to educate. But if that isn’t practical preparation for the mind-numbing, soul-smothering grind of real-world employment, I don’t know what is.

______________________________________________________________

Image: http://schizmatic.com/files/speed_teaching.jpg

Page: http://schizmatic.com/comics/675

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"Unworkable #5"
The strangest, craziest, most far-fetched reality show premise can’t possibly compete with the idea of doing a job you love for great financial compensation and enriching personal fulfillment. Talk about pure fiction.
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Image: http://schizmatic.com/files/unworkable_5.jpg
Page: http://schizmatic.com/comics/674
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"Unworkable #5"

The strangest, craziest, most far-fetched reality show premise can’t possibly compete with the idea of doing a job you love for great financial compensation and enriching personal fulfillment. Talk about pure fiction.

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Image: http://schizmatic.com/files/unworkable_5.jpg

Page: http://schizmatic.com/comics/674

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"Eating For Two"
"Dude, I only hope you don’t have to have it delivered surgically. I’ve heard that some animals do it just walking around! And some people even use swimming pools! Get some exercise, butter-butt."
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Page: http://schizmatic.com/comics/673
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"Eating For Two"

"Dude, I only hope you don’t have to have it delivered surgically. I’ve heard that some animals do it just walking around! And some people even use swimming pools! Get some exercise, butter-butt."

______________________________________________________________

Image: http://schizmatic.com/files/eating_for_two.jpg

Page: http://schizmatic.com/comics/673

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